I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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