If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
