I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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