there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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