CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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