I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
