Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
