Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
