it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
