woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
