am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
