It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
