fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
