Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
