the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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