the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize