I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
