That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
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Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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