I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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