You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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