I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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