Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
