if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's shark week go big or go home
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
