your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
