That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
That accounts for only three of the penises
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
