sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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