It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize