I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
