You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
