It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
