There is no way he is gay with that hair.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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