talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
