kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
