bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
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The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
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He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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