she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?