WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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