Sponge bath it is.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my being single is dangerous.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
