Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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