So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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