just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
