Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
