Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
