Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
