member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
