Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
