Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
