1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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