Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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