so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
