I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
