I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize