You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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