they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
