Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
