One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
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