yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
