fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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