I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i've created a new STD.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
