so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
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AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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