I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
